Facebook and Narcissism
Last night it dawned on me that Facebook was bringing out the worst in many of us. I know I’m a little slow on the uptake sometimes, many of you probably figured this out long ago. Idid a Gooogle search on Is Facebook Making Us Narcissistic? and found all this. I asked my 17 year old if she felt it was making us narcissistic and she said, “absolutely but Twitter is worse.” I don’t get Twitter, nor do I want to post things that often, who cares anyway? As for Facebook, I don’t know whether to be amused or horrified that they have constant updates on who loves you and how popular you are. I suppose they are trying to get at what is the most basic human need but what kind of love is this that we see it in updates on a computer generated program.
I prefer the good old fashioned kind of love which often comes with a hug attached from a real live person. Yet, I admit, I have become so addicted to fond of Facebook that I haven’t blogged in almost four months. Aren’t a good many of us in this narcissistic party together? To me it seems like we are all encouraging each other to just update as often as we want with the most trivial information. For me, there is that pull to see how people respond to your witty one liners, or even your boring thoughts on everything from your kids to what you had for dinner. I enjoy sharing a few photos regularly with friends. I do like looking at others photos too. I also enjoy keeping up with people I do not regularly see. I have connected with folks I haven’t seen since I was a pre-teen. It was due to Facebook that I managed a trip back home for a 31st high school reunion. I have also enjoyed changing my profile photo to show the various things I’ve done, places I’ve been and people I’ve met. Few people knew I have two black belts, or what I looked like at the very end of my pregnancy with my giant baby, or that I rode horses, or that I have traveled to remote places. It all comes back to feeling I am important and wanting to share myself with others. Which brings me back to my original topic of narcissism. What is healthy sharing and what is obsession with oneself? For me, it has to do with how balanced my real time life is. That’s where the rubber hits the road. How do I live my daily life? Am I spending too much time on the computer, probably as it is one of my favorite past times but I am not yet too concerned. I do think I will make an effort to cut back on my time there though. I have too many good books waiting to be read.
The real narcissists are on Twitter. Facebook is tame by comparison. What’s not narcissistic about these real Tweets (none from me):
* “Sunny and 80 degrees tomorrow. Need to work on my tan poolside.”
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* “I’m at Cafe MochaBleu (Queen Anne Road, Teaneck).”
* “I’ve hit that point where I loathe going to the gym yet i still do it. Is this what doing crank feels like?”
* “Get Paid Daily! Up to $252 on a $35.95 Sale plus Overrides & Car Bonus.”
* “All I know about the life, I’ve learned from Star Trek!”
* “When did tights/leggings become an acceptable substitute for pants?”
* “I was talking wt a friend of mine abt some random cats weknow and how they are always in and out of prison What is up with this mentality.”
* “I had the idea that I’d accomplish a lot more today. Silly me.”
* “Almost lost my phone. Realized two blocks away i was missing it, ran back, found it on the floor under my chair. (whew) Heart attack.”
* “I should probably pack my bags if I don’t want to come back 7 days later from LA in the same clothes.”
* “Just saw a house down the street with 5 snowmen and a full Nativity scene in the yard. It’s still too early for me.”
* “Whew! Found the garbage can. It had blown into the street and the neighbor’s cleaning service put it in their garage. Big
It’s amazing the dribble people can squeeze into 140 characters. These are all tweets from November 12th. At least with Facebook, status messages go to presumed friends. Tweets generally go out to people you don’t know. Twitter’s popularity amazes me, Mimi.